Dedication, thats how I see it, no I am not talking about the dedication towards your studies, nor towards one’s carrier, nor towards one’s girl friend or wife. I am talking about the dedication towards one’s body. I think virginity is dedication to one’s body, and making sure you respect your body more than anything else.
As with all the posts over here in my pure pursuits, this as well is a bundle of contradictions and confusions. To be frank, I honestly do not think of virginity as a virtue in a women, I mean not just woman. I might be not a complete believer of the traditional “hymen” being the proof, however I will be lying if I say, I do not value one waiting for a right single partner, both men and woman.
I do not want to talk about whether hymen must be the point of concern, instead I was thinking about how much should one give importance to monogamy, and making your better half the only sexual partner for life.
I know monogamy itself is debatable, many believe that at any given point of time in life, if you are making sure you are not being with more than one particular partner thats monogamy. Unfortunately I do not believe in that, and still continue to believe that one should give a fair thought before one enters a physical relationship. I know this is heading to the old debate of body or soul.
For many a people who still believe marry only once in life phenomenon, shouldn’t one make efforts to dedicate their body to just one individual?. shouldn’t this be something exclusive and personal between the two?.
Again the thought might be something thats being churned out in the hypocrite traditional part of my mind, while the other side is screaming, asking why?, why should one dedicate?, can one make sure that their mind had never strayed away towards another individual before marriage?, can one result in abstinence in that regards. We can be fairly sure, either of the individuals might have had thoughts of romantic nature before, so why not the same wrt body, for many a people consider mind and soul more important than body, so when you can live with a non virgin mind, why not a non virgin body.
I somehow have the feeling that every relationship begins with a trust and hope that this is going to be “IT”, my relation for the lifetime, he/she is going to be my partner for life, so at that point what do one do?, should he or she abstain from the physical act because he is not sure about the end result, no one can be sure right. If one considers marriage as the point which confirms, ok now nothing else can happen that can drift the couple apart, so thats the right time to move forward. Its still possible that it might end up in a divorce, or god forbids death of one of the partner.
So for what should one wait, steady relationship?, engagement?, marriage?, few years of marriage?.. till when?.
Someone once asked me a great question once.. not sure where, must be in one of the blogs. so just because you want to dedicate, what would you do if your partner turns out to be not a virgin. Really tough question that was. You know that question made me wonder, will I be in a stage where my love for the person would be so much that I will not care about one’s past life, more importantly the past life of one’s body.
I still do not have an answer, sometimes the logical mind of mine says I would ignore, and sometimes the practical mind of mine doubts of a wilder reaction. That takes us to the square one, so should one really value virginity.
As I said before, I feel everyone wants to do this I suppose, or I might be totally naive in believing so, but I was thinking of those extreme cases, where one totally stops caring about their body, and the sanctity of exclusiveness. I feel there can be many influences in this regard.
Lets take the case of external influent like Drugs, Alcohol things which can put people so high that they do not care about who is using there body to do what. Sometimes the addiction becomes so strong that they do not care if they end up sacrifising their own rules and body to get a gram of hash. I think this is shows a little bit of weak mind, if one cannot control their addiction, or begin to loose control of themselves under the substance abuse, I do not think there is a lot of thinking going on in there.
What I am more weary about is when, people reach a mental stage where they do not care about their body, and it becomes a way of getting back at people who have troubled them, or kind of rebelling against the society which makes certain things forbidden. In most of these cases, the other person in such a act, is not even aware of how he/she is being used, or what implications it is going to have on the person’s life.
Coming back to the questions,
Do I value virginity?, I think yes both in men and women,
Why? not so clear,
Virgin till when?, I guess till that one person whom you can’t think of moving onto someone else,
So what If I did a mistake in choosing that person?, mistakes do happen, but should that affect what we value? mistakes are meant to be forgiven/ignored when you value the person much more.
What do you guys think??
