Archive for "Body or Soul"

Tunes of the changing age

{ May 31, 2008 @ 11:54 am } · { "Body or Soul", Gender talk, Sexuality, age }
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I must admit, I have been very lazy these days, even on days where there is much going on my mind, thoughts flowing forcing me to scribble them on the notepad, I seem to ponder over them in mind, rather than over here on the blog.

The other day I was reading a book and an incident in the book set me adrift in this direction. Sexuality, one of the least discussed and the taboo subjects, one which is not meant to be discussed about, how does it change with the age?, does sexuality age differently in men and women?, at what age do we say that’s it, we are no longer interested, or is it really age which makes us loose interest.?. These questions plagued my mind for days together, as I began searching for answers, with least background, and even lesser experience.

In a way I was hesitant because I am not qualified experience wise to write about this, being in mid twenties I have hardly seen the world w.r.t to this subject to make any kind of observation or theorize, however this stubborn opinionated mind of mine is singing a different tune.

Lets begin with men. I have read many places, and spoken to many people who believe that men of all ages, at all times, think of only one thing, that’s sex. The day in the early teens when he begins his journey from boyhood to manhood, till the day he leaves this earth, he would never say enough, is what many people believe. Is it really true?, is it true that age has no effect on a man’s sexuality?. I think age surely does have an impact, in some cases age counts as the time spent on earth and in many other cases age can be considered as the maturity one tends to develop with time, the realization of the deeper meanings in life. I am not saying with maturity people become asexual, what I am thinking is people attach different meaning to the act.

Women on the other hand are said to start a little slow, you know idea of romance sets in first and then its followed by sexuality. In a more well defined journey, women are said to evolve sexually over the years from uninterested, to slightly interested, peak during mid thirties and then finally slowly begin to loose interest. I have never spoken to a woman regarding this, nor have I read many books on this, may be fellow bloggers can contribute their perspective here. From what I have perceived, I was surprised to get a feel a woman’s sexuality a couple of times, even though its very subtle, very figurative, but at the bottom of it, not much different from that of a male point of view.

Again whatever I said till now does not disprove the belief that men of all age think of only one thing. Lets consider a small journey of a boy. When kids grow up, until a certain age they do not see the difference in gender, live alone the idea of sexuality, as they grow up the idea of gender and its differences are instilled by we adults in them. Making groups of kids in school based on gender, forcing distinctive dressing sense on to the kids etc, slowly the distinction becomes apparent in the eyes of the kids. Preteens is an almost age of innocence, when the guys show keen interest in opposite sex, I think here all they want in many cases is just a friendship, and to be respected amongst the peers. Even at this stage the curiosity is not yet set in. Only in the mid teens/to late teens when the sexuality and curiosity plays havoc in a boys life, he is discovering many new things in himself, new feelings, new ideas and even new functions of his own body parts. Now Isn’t this a natural age to grow curios, also in a way age where one tends glorify sexuality in one’s own eye?.

A preteen or teenage girls are said to fantasize a lot about romance, the idea of an ideal lover, the one who will walk them to the moon, and they are ready to trade anything for it. I feel a lot of preteen/teen sexuality in girls is mainly in search of the romance, and also a thing they believe they have to do achieve what they really want. Its only later, years later they do realize the various subtleties of romance, and possible existence of a something like pure lust in their relation.

I think men in early twenties tend to have this bursts of animal extinct in them, more on the lines of bursts of erotic thoughts and then dwindle away, even fantasies too seem to be more in this age. However I think this age [number] is coming down, more and more teenagers or early twenties people exploring more of their sexualities in India now, and even abroad I think the average age has gone down a lot, and with that, the age to fantasize too.

Nowadays I ponder a lot on this thought, I wonder at some stage one will loose the curiosity in sexuality isn’t it?, at the end of the day its just a body, how much different can it be?. That makes it interesting, is it the age in me speaking when I get such thoughts?. I guess men entering late thirties and early forties take it easy, there is no longer the curiosity nor the peer pressure, and I think it may end up being more pleasurable at that age.

I think woman on the other hand discover lust at a slightly older age compared to men, even though biologically women are considered to peak much earlier than men, I think they become more adventurous when it comes to their sexuality a little later, may be I am totally wrong, but this is what I feel. May be some years down the lane, they really tend to discover themselves and their sexuality. In many cases, long after they become sexuality active. I also feel, they tend to develop a sense of urgency in them, I am not so sure as to what they are afraid of, whats going to end so soon?, why is their a sense of urgency?. Or is it that there isn’t any urgency?.

Moving onto the old age, I have absolutely no clue about this period of one’s life, and this aspect of that age, may be some of my readers can give us more information about the thought process at that age.

Its been a while I wrote something for the body or soul series, and this topic made me think a lot on the subject.

Platonic, what’s that?

{ February 23, 2008 @ 12:23 pm } · { "Body or Soul", Attraction, Friendship }
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Something bad seems to be happening these days, all my thoughts seem to be triggered by something or the other from the newspapers I read. Its been three weeks in a row now, an article in one of the local newspaper making me think on it. Am I in dearth of original thoughts?, or does it mean our newspapers have become more thought provoking?, or I have finally began to get the right message out of them.

As I opened todays newspaper, an article in the His/Her section caught my eye, I generally avoid that section of the newspaper because, most of the times it has some tips for dating which is almost useless to me. Today they had an article about platonic friendship. I really did not know what it meant, so went ahead and read on, the article was about how to make sure your relationship does not end up in a platonic friendship. The article was boring in content, but the idea struck onto me. How do I cope with this problem, if we ever get into one such. Firstly how often does one face this issue?, is it really common?, more importantly can one successfully convert a platonic friendship into a relationship of romantic nature, or the only way is to make sure you never let the relationship get into the platonic mood because there is no way out of it.

Interesting thoughts mainly because, I have written m any a times about cross gender friendship and how it need not mean its romantic in nature, how people misunderstand something very pure, and in a way make it harder for people to have such beautiful friendship. I had also experienced this recently when one of my friendships was in question, and so was one of my good friend’s and she was really upset with this.

I never thought about the other way around. What if both the people do not want it to be platonic but are wondering how to make the next move, who should make it, and how to give hints as to the other person knows there is a romantic interest in the friendship.

The topic is very close to the previous post I wrote about how to define flirting, unfortunately when one of the pair does not get the hints what does the other person do?. There are many of the stupid persons around like me, so unless things are made explicit we may not understand what the others are trying to say. Actually the worst part is, more than reading signs one is more worried about reading the signs wrong. I guess doubts must be there on the both sides, I mean no one would want to ruin an existing friendship by trying to bring in romance.

Actually I am feeling kind of stupid these days writing about these things, mainly because its on the lines of a blind man describing a beautiful scenery, all he says are things which he imagines it to be, so what all I am saying over here are things which I feel “what it must be like”.

Do people really get into this issue often, I always imagined that there must be a lot of clashes when it comes to friendship because more often or not one of them might develop the romantic interest and the other might resist. This might spoil the friendship. But again as I said I just am assuming this might be the case, listening to many of my friends and people I know who have experienced the one way traffic as I mentioned above. What would one do in that case, does he or she try to make the other person see the romance which they are seeing?.

Can one really convert the platonic friendship into a romantic relationship?. I am not sure on this regards, have not met many people who have successfully done this, or may be these aspects never come out for others, mainly because its too personal. Many of the platonic relationships might have moved on to romance, mainly because both of them had the inclination, but can it happen that one said no and other made him/her change his mind?.

One thing which still amazes me is that, people who have moved on from strong platonic friendships for long time, can they really get physical in the relationship?. I somehow cannot picture being physical with many of my female friends, mainly because they have been such good friends, and you know personally what they like and don’t, and what things in a guy they hate, so one refuses to get the thoughts of that nature involving them. I am sure there must be hurdles related to these in such relations.

I really wanted to type a part of the article here, mainly because I found that really funny, and kind of surprised if one can really do it. The article was titled “Platonic relationships preclude more interesting things, we tell you how to avoid the trap“

“An out of town trip where only two of you end up going is a sure sign that nothing is going to happen between the two. A dangerously high comfort level has set in already. This means that you need to break the pattern urgently. Don’t accept the invitation for an out of town picnic unless he has naughty intentions“

On a totally funny side, a Father of a daughter should get to read this. I would love to see his reactions.

A confusion called flirting

{ February 16, 2008 @ 8:14 am } · { "Body or Soul", Flirting, opinion }
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This topic has come back to my mind after quite some time, and I have been wondering about this one for last couple of days. What constitutes flirting?.. what really counts as
flirting.

I began to read few things on line, the first place I went to was wikipedia. It says “Flirting is a form of human interaction, usually expressing a sexual or romantic interest in the other person. It can consist of conversation, body language, or brief physical contact. It may be one-sided or reciprocated.”. You can read rest of it here

First impression I got was that its very subjective, I mean I might have some really wild ideas about romance which the other person may have no clues about, so when she does these things I might feel that she is showing romantical interest in me. Does this mean she is flirting with me?..

Actually the whole topic started when one person asked me why I was trying to flirt with
her, where the truth was that I had not tried to do that, and I was kind of surprised at
what kind of wrong signals I was sending. Also in a totally different instance one of my friends felt that a girl whom we both knew was totally trying to flirt with me. Again there too I failed to recognize this. Mainly because I did not have such an inclination towards her.

Does this mean that, we tend to see things when we feel its there?, I mean we want to see romance thats when we tend to give more importance to what the other person is doing and end up trying to read signals from that, and see he/she ids flirting?.

Is it  based on experience?, I mean If I have used a particular way to be noticed by the other person, say try to strike a conversation every now and then, now when I see someone else doing it to me, I feel that she is flirting?. Or may be the media too has a hand in it, I mean when they keep showing in the movies that say smiling at you always is a form of flirting, and both the parties know about it, one who wants to flirt may end up using the smile as a means, and the other person might recognise its flirting when others do it.

There are few obvious things, which I think should not be called flirting, say trying to call one person for no reason, talking for hours together on no subjects, or trying to send text messages often, or even giving uncalled for gifts. I think these are extreme steps, and more of wooing rather than flirting. Flirting I guess is more a subtle way of letting know you have romantic interests.

How bad is flirting?, I mean is it bad when some tries to show a romantic interest in you?, hmm i don’t think its bad, but I also see that it depends on my mood, and the person, I mean if you find a person whom you don’t like trying to flirt with you obviously you might get upset, or angry. I think on the whole innocent flirting might be a very natural thing in humans, in fact I think this must be natural in other forms of life apart from humans as well.

Guys you tell me what you think is flirting, what people do makes you feel they are flirting, how serious offence do you think it is?

Would you call it dedication?

{ February 9, 2008 @ 7:35 am } · { "Body or Soul", Gender talk, Virginity }
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Dedication, thats how I see it, no I am not talking about the dedication towards your studies, nor towards one’s carrier, nor towards one’s girl friend or wife. I am talking about the dedication towards one’s body. I think virginity is dedication to one’s body, and making sure you respect your body more than anything else.

As with all the posts over here in my pure pursuits, this as well is a bundle of contradictions and confusions. To be frank, I honestly do not think of virginity as a virtue in a women, I mean not just woman. I might be not a complete believer of the traditional “hymen” being the proof, however I will be lying if I say, I do not value one waiting for a right single partner, both men and woman.

I do not want to talk about whether hymen must be the point of concern, instead I was thinking about how much should one give importance to monogamy, and making your better half the only sexual partner for life.

I know monogamy itself is debatable, many believe that at any given point of time in life, if you are making sure you are not being with more than one particular partner thats monogamy. Unfortunately I do not believe in that, and still continue to believe that one should give a fair thought before one enters a physical relationship. I know this is heading to the old debate of body or soul.

For many a people who still believe marry only once in life phenomenon, shouldn’t one make efforts to dedicate their body to just one individual?. shouldn’t this be something exclusive and personal between the two?.

Again the thought might be something thats being churned out in the hypocrite traditional part of my mind, while the other side is screaming, asking why?, why should one dedicate?, can one make sure that their mind had never strayed away towards another individual before marriage?, can one result in abstinence in that regards. We can be fairly sure, either of the individuals might have had thoughts of romantic nature before, so why not the same wrt body, for many a people consider mind and soul more important than body, so when you can live with a non virgin mind, why not a non virgin body.

I somehow have the feeling that every relationship begins with a trust and hope that this is going to be “IT”, my relation for the lifetime, he/she is going to be my partner for life, so at that point what do one do?, should he or she abstain from the physical act because he is not sure about the end result, no one can be sure right. If one considers marriage as the point which confirms, ok now nothing else can happen that can drift the couple apart, so thats the right time to move forward. Its still possible that it might end up in a divorce, or god forbids death of one of the partner.

So for what should one wait, steady relationship?, engagement?, marriage?, few years of marriage?.. till when?.

Someone once asked me a great question once.. not sure where, must be in one of the blogs. so just because you want to dedicate, what would you do if your partner turns out to be not a virgin. Really tough question that was. You know that question made me wonder, will I be in a stage where my love for the person would be so much that I will not care about one’s past life, more importantly the past life of one’s body.

I still do not have an answer, sometimes the logical mind of mine says I would ignore, and sometimes the practical mind of mine doubts of a wilder reaction. That takes us to the square one, so should one really value virginity.

As I said before, I feel everyone wants to do this I suppose, or I might be totally naive in believing so, but I was thinking of those extreme cases, where one totally stops caring about their body, and the sanctity of exclusiveness. I feel there can be many influences in this regard.

Lets take the case of external influent like Drugs, Alcohol things which can put people so high that they do not care about who is using there body to do what. Sometimes the addiction becomes so strong that they do not care if they end up sacrifising their own rules and body to get a gram of hash. I think this is shows a little bit of weak mind, if one cannot control their addiction, or begin to loose control of themselves under the substance abuse, I do not think there is a lot of thinking going on in there.

What I am more weary about is when, people reach a mental stage where they do not care about their body, and it becomes a way of getting back at people who have troubled them, or kind of rebelling against the society which makes certain things forbidden. In most of these cases, the other person in such a act, is not even aware of how he/she is being used, or what implications it is going to have on the person’s life.

Coming back to the questions,

Do I value virginity?, I think yes both in men and women,

Why? not so clear,

Virgin till when?, I guess till that one person whom you can’t think of moving onto someone else,

So what If I did a mistake in choosing that person?, mistakes do happen, but should that affect what we value? mistakes are meant to be forgiven/ignored when you value the person much more.

What do you guys think??

Victim of “Attraction”

{ December 8, 2007 @ 2:09 pm } · { "Body or Soul", Attraction }
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Recently a post on my other blog virtual ramblings titled  “Couple of good news“  created a little bit of friction amongst my blogger friends and me. It was a mixed reaction to a topic which, when I decided to write about, did not even expect such kind of mixed reactions. It was meant, felt and thought about, as a natural and honest outburst of the attraction I felt to a certain woman/girl I saw couple of times on my way to work.

Some months back, I would have never thought it is well accepted and natural to express these personal feelings like attraction openly to others via the internet, share something as personal as love/lust over a place, where people may not be totally aware of the intentions, and so may be they would end up mis-judging your intentions. In fact I was never comfortable talking about anything personal some time back. My “Body or soul” series, and comments on them from various people, male and female, made me realize, that this is something very natural and there is nothing to hide about it.

Coming back to the topic of physical attraction. We all do get attracted to certain people. At times it is their smile, their face, their dressing sense, their interaction with people around them, and so on. Sometimes just a look you get instantly attracted. Is it really wrong to do so then?, is it wrong to “give in” to attraction?. I feel it is very natural to give in to attraction, and try to get more information about the person, try to see if you feel the same the next time around, or was it just your body that was talking the last time around.

I am sure gender is not a differentiator here, even women too might feel attraction towards a certain kind of men, may be physique, sense of humor, intellect, knowledge, smile, manners and so on, out of blue amidst crowd haven’t we all felt attracted to some one?, Haven’t you got attracted to anyone?.

Coming back to the question, Attracted yes so what should be the next step?, should one always walk up to the person and ash her/him out?, or may be try to get to know the person, or may be until he/she feels the urge to know more, try to confirm if there is attraction left? or was it just a passing thought.

Personally I do not give more importance to attractions. I would like to believe it takes a lot more than that to make me approach to the person to know more about her. I think spending time with the person is very much necessary even before thinking about the next step, may be if not in person, at least you got to observe the person a little more, because any relation which you get into in haste is sure to doom. Though I am not a big fan of living things to shape up by themselves, in areas like these where there are no right methods, or right ways, one has to just live it to the time, to shape things up and see where it takes you.

The next topic my mind drifted to was if the situation has changed over years, have people started to accept the natural attraction more, are they less prejudiced about it now?. I am not so sure, even though my opinion on the topic has changed over years, even though I have started to believe that  there is nothing wrong in getting drawn to someone physically, there are still reservations when I get in the opposite seat. I have caught some girls, though very rarely staring at me, that generally leaves me embarrassed and somehow feel like getting of the scene. And am really bad in seeing signs, I mean there have been couple of occasions where after a conversation, my close friends have come back to me and said, what was happening there, I think the girl was totally impressed with you.. but then I have to admit none of those times it was with someone whom I was attracted too.

Topics such as these have no resolutions, more the opinions more the information sharing. Something really worth discussing.

Again I am not saying one should stare at a particular person, or try to act smart or anything like that, nor am I trying to defend what I did. There is going to be limits for anything, and for this too. But one cannot ignore the fact that attraction is going to be there, you like it or not.

An afterthought

{ September 8, 2007 @ 8:54 am } · { "Body or Soul" }
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Last time I thought about this, I ended up all in questions and confusions. This does happen in most of the other topics too, but this time I had something deep up my mind, the result being, me still thinking about it, and these afterthoughts I have had had.

The last question I asked myself, in the post was should we talk about it, I have for years and years believed, no, we should not. There are things meant to be private and this topped the list. I think one of the changes I went through, changed this as well, I felt there is nothing to be ashamed in telling people what you think, I know what should be my limitation, and what I should be telling people, and this did not find a place in the list anymore.
People who visit my blog thought otherwise I guess, not many wanted to say what they feel about this, I know the mental block and I totally respect that. I would just like to remind, that if identity is the issue here, then we do allow anonymous comments, even if you don’t want to say, just think about the topic, I am sure you will surprise yourself with a thought or two.

The relationship between body and soul in intriguing, as much you think about the topic, you tend to discover newer aspects about this relationship. I started with a theory, a very idealistic one, body being a slave of the soul. I have had so many days, when I am down with a bad fever, or even a severe cold with nose blocks, still have concentrated like never before on my work, or something as silly as an episode of my favorite TV show, or even a sporting event. My will power, or my mind or the soul, whatever you want to call it it, had been such a powerful master that my body had to become its slave. There has been many a days when your body wanted something very much like rest due to tiredness and you just dismiss its request, it has to do what your mind wants it to do. I am sure you can relate the same to other bodily needs. I might be with no experience in this matter, but I can bet that there would have been days when your body was in no mood for it, but the emotions ran so strong that, your body ended being a slave for it. A great gesture by your mate, a deep moment between the two, a mere act of understanding or the ever illusionary love, anything might have slaved your body, in dire situations to respond to your mind.

Just this idealistic thought about the relationship, and my mind begins to wonder, how converse of this is as much true. There have been days when I have not be able to concentrate even a bit on what I am doing, because of a tiny prick in my feet, or a little nail that has come out, or even as simple as bad smell my nose is picking up. I would be honest to admit, cases when an attractive female who passes by has made me lose concentration, now in most cases I do have weird rules of attraction, like what she says, what she thinks and whats her opinion, but then there have been occasions where it is none of those, its just the sight, the look and body, body does find a natural attraction to the other. How cheap it might sound, but it is true and lust I think is as natural as love. So is not my mind slave of my body here?, aren’t we ignoring the logic in our mind, our principles in life, and even our thought process, for something as trivial as bodily lust?.

So I decide, they must be having a discrete relationship, totally disjoint from one another. No one is slave of the other, each work on their own. They just co exist. Like the time someone experiences acute pain in their stomach, for a second all they can think is the body and its pain, just a minute later, you tend to worry about what happened to the score in the game last night. At a point when you know that you have a body and it has its needs and problems, you just accept its existence, and get on with your life. Let the body take care of itself, and the soul take care of itself. It reminds me of a scene from the movie The Notebook, where the lead actor, as he waits for his love to come back just spends his nights with a widow, knowing purely it is his body which she is servicing not his mind. He wants the both to coexist with his love, without the two getting in way of the other. Personally I feel this is most difficult to achieve, and still I have a lot of doubt if this is indeed correct. But none the less, this still is a relationship between the two.

So If I don’t want them to be that way, the only left relationship is when both the mind and the body both are masters, both have their interests vested, they both want the same thing, body
aiding the mind, and the mind taking care of the body. This sounds so ideal right?, I mean no separate existence for any one of them. As ideal it may sound, I think it’s not. There is something missing in this too, say you are throughly depressed due to something that happened at work, or may be suffered a big loss, your mind is all over the place, may be at this point, you need something totally disconnected from your mind to give you a breather, something which gives you immense pleasure and takes your mind away from worldly matters, and makes you feel a little out of world, isn’t this where a body could help?

Moving on to the next question, do men and women think differently about this, I liked the way Jason said, he questions back, “don’t two women think differently?”. Exactly this is such a personal thought, and feelings can vary from individual. I think the myth that men are for body and women are for soul, was totally busted with the more I read. The more I know the world I feel, its just about what gives you pleasure, some find immense pleasure in following their soul, and if body becomes a part of it so be it, some on the other hand, find immense pleasure in listening to their body, and if soul does not want it, so let it be. And some find immense pleasure in challenges, so if body throws a big challenge to them, curbing the body gives them immense pleasure, on the other hand, if people are sick of the logic, and they don’t want it to dictate what they enjoy, they find immense pleasure in being rebel.

It just keeps me on and on, I cant seem to decide what my philosophy is in this regard.
Guys do let me know what you think.


 You can read the rest of the series here “Body or Soul” or Pure Pursuits

Bubbles up the vents of my mind – by Jason

{ September 1, 2007 @ 10:07 am } · { "Body or Soul" }
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Jason write at Jason’s space. I have not known him for long, to be honest have not read much of his work, [Jason I am sorry, I was being totally honest here]. From what I have read so far, he appears to me as a person who has lot of, ideas, waiting to be told, thoughts waiting to be expressed and discussed. Hoping to know more about his ideas, and his thoughts over this series and posts on his blog. Jason writes at http://jasonmonserrate.blogspot.com/
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At the outset, i would like to stay away from generalization or inductive reasoning based on a few examples. Also, every question i have touched upon opens a larger set of questions. Pages and pages could be written about the topic.

You have got me thinking on a lot of areas. I sincerely believe that the mind tends to specialise in an area or areas of importance at any particular point of time. Its specialisation tends to vary with time. What may be important to you as a 18 year old does not hold the same significance in your life when you are 35 or 70. The topics of interest do not always evolve from the more inane to the more focussed, from the general to the precise. It could also degenerate into some entirely insignificant. This is broadly unconnected to your post. So let me leave this out.

The body and the soul – Its hard to separate. Both are controlled by the mind. Which is the control tower. Nothing can be done exclusive of the other. I do believe it is the complete package.

Societal taboos – In a society, just like in a group of people, you exercise a choice. Lets consider a party. It is a group of people. You have a choice to go up to join the conversation, or to start one. You can choose what you will say, and whom you will say it to. Similarly, in the society, you cab choose the way you will act. The consequences of each action will be spelt loud and clear and will be obvious to you.

Religious taboos – Religion is private. Since i am a Christian, i can say that the body is not given secondary treatment in the Bible. This is a much larger debate.

Women and men think differently? I have never been a woman. So i guess i will not be the best person to answer this. But then, don’t two men (or two women) think differently from each other?

Should the body and the soul stuff not be talked about? Well… I wonder what the taboo is. Why is it so hard to talk about? Why do you think satisfying the body is sinful? Also, what exactly does ’sinful’ imply, is it religiously sinful or just plain bad?

I would like this to proceed in a more specific direction. The more i think about it, the more matter bubbles up in the vents of the mind.

Call me a romantic – by silverneurotic

{ August 31, 2007 @ 5:44 am } · { "Body or Soul" }
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silverneurotic as I know her, writes at The Post College Years-Part Two, one of my earliest blog buddies, I can’t even remember how I came to know her blog, or was it her who came across my blog the first time around. In way it does not matter I guess.

The thing that drew me to her writing, is the subjects she choses to opine about, I mean there is a wide range of subjects which almost instantly appeal to you as a reader, something which makes you want to think what you think about the same. I admire the professional job she does, not many have the opportunity to serve people like the way she does.

Being a person who is interested in psychology, somewhere she does understand the true feeling in your posts, and provided with really good comments [I hate to use the word comment].

She writes at
http://silverneurotic.wordpress.com/


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Let’s Talk About Sex!


Let’s talk about sex, baby
Let’s talk about you and me
Let’s talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be
Let’s talk about sex
Let’s talk about sex
Let’s talk about sex
Let’s talk about sex
“Let’s Talk About Sex”, Salt ‘N’ Pepa

Hello, my name is Silver and I am a virgin.

I do not make this statement in jest. I do not make this statement to boast and I do not make this statement out of shame or embarrassment. I make this statement as a matter of fact. I am a virgin.

Recently Rambler asked his blog readers to share with him things that we would not discuss on our blogs. Being the smart ass I am, I stated that I would not discuss my sex life, or rather, my lack of sex life. As fate would have it however, here I am doing exactly that. Funny how things work out.

I find being a twenty-something female virgin in the United States to be a challenge. I am constantly being challenged by two different mindsets, the traditional and the modern, both of which are strong forces in my personal life.

One one hand I am surrounded by the modern thought that sexuality is a good thing. Television, especially stations such as MTV, flaunt sex and sexuality. Radio shows are dedicated to sexual health, shiny magazines at the cash registers in the super market scream out headlines related to sex. The funniest comedies playing at the movie theater are often sexual based. Every where I turn, sex is screaming out. It is telling us that sex is something to embrace, not something that we need to hide. I find myself agreeing somewhat with this mindset. After all, I consider myself to be a pretty modern, liberal individual.

When it comes to the subject of sex however, I have a more traditional mindset. At least when it comes to myself and my body. While casual, Samantha type sex might be okay for the “Sex and the City” crowd, I am happy to follow the traditionalists. Not the religious traditionalists who do not believe in any kind of sex before marriage, but traditional in the sense that sex is best in a strong relationship, between two people who love and respect each other.

While casual sex might seem okay for some, I can’t imagine that it would be very satisfying in the long run. Sure, it might “fill” you temporarily. A way to let off stress. A way to have a little extra fun after a night on the town. But really, in the long run…will it satisfy you in the long run? In one word, no.

And that is why I choose to stay a virgin. Call me a romantic, but I am waiting for Mr. Right.

Still thinking about body or soul

{ August 30, 2007 @ 3:11 pm } · { "Body or Soul", wordless }
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Photo courtesy Alex

Who’s the master – by Throwing roses.

{ August 27, 2007 @ 3:35 pm } · { "Body or Soul" }
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Throwingroses, as we know him writes at My life as a conscious observer. I am not sure how I came across his blog, or was it him who left a first comment, I guess it does not really matter. From what I have known him through his blogs, he is one deep thinker. Now isn’t that something great and rare, he writes less compared to blog crazy people like me, but all his posts are really well thought, precise and insightful. He has introduced me to some of very good music on his site, and his experiences in his cafe are really interesting.
He writes at

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Much like a dog so is our body. The dog breathes whimpers and cries into the air out of a desperation. All the noise and even the possible tugging of pant legs are to let the master know what it needs. The dog may need to be walked or even just a little hand to head petting, but the master chooses to ignore.

Much like the master to the dog so are we. A message of needs is being communicated but we ignore or we simply misinterpret. We walk the dog when what was actually desired was merely food.

But the master has its own master; it may be culture or possibly religious dogma. But the master’s master may be that cause of the confusion on understanding the cries.

Our body cries out with needs (and desires), but often times it gets ignored. The body may cry out for a needed healing as it’s antibodies are weak in a battle against a foreign virus, but the master of the master may say the aid of medicine is sinful and so are the cries from the body. In this instance the body’s needs are unanswered.

The body is always crying out, we have to learn what each breath, what each whimper and tug on the pants means because the body may be more important than the master of the master.

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