I must admit, I have been very lazy these days, even on days where there is much going on my mind, thoughts flowing forcing me to scribble them on the notepad, I seem to ponder over them in mind, rather than over here on the blog.
The other day I was reading a book and an incident in the book set me adrift in this direction. Sexuality, one of the least discussed and the taboo subjects, one which is not meant to be discussed about, how does it change with the age?, does sexuality age differently in men and women?, at what age do we say that’s it, we are no longer interested, or is it really age which makes us loose interest.?. These questions plagued my mind for days together, as I began searching for answers, with least background, and even lesser experience.
In a way I was hesitant because I am not qualified experience wise to write about this, being in mid twenties I have hardly seen the world w.r.t to this subject to make any kind of observation or theorize, however this stubborn opinionated mind of mine is singing a different tune.
Lets begin with men. I have read many places, and spoken to many people who believe that men of all ages, at all times, think of only one thing, that’s sex. The day in the early teens when he begins his journey from boyhood to manhood, till the day he leaves this earth, he would never say enough, is what many people believe. Is it really true?, is it true that age has no effect on a man’s sexuality?. I think age surely does have an impact, in some cases age counts as the time spent on earth and in many other cases age can be considered as the maturity one tends to develop with time, the realization of the deeper meanings in life. I am not saying with maturity people become asexual, what I am thinking is people attach different meaning to the act.
Women on the other hand are said to start a little slow, you know idea of romance sets in first and then its followed by sexuality. In a more well defined journey, women are said to evolve sexually over the years from uninterested, to slightly interested, peak during mid thirties and then finally slowly begin to loose interest. I have never spoken to a woman regarding this, nor have I read many books on this, may be fellow bloggers can contribute their perspective here. From what I have perceived, I was surprised to get a feel a woman’s sexuality a couple of times, even though its very subtle, very figurative, but at the bottom of it, not much different from that of a male point of view.
Again whatever I said till now does not disprove the belief that men of all age think of only one thing. Lets consider a small journey of a boy. When kids grow up, until a certain age they do not see the difference in gender, live alone the idea of sexuality, as they grow up the idea of gender and its differences are instilled by we adults in them. Making groups of kids in school based on gender, forcing distinctive dressing sense on to the kids etc, slowly the distinction becomes apparent in the eyes of the kids. Preteens is an almost age of innocence, when the guys show keen interest in opposite sex, I think here all they want in many cases is just a friendship, and to be respected amongst the peers. Even at this stage the curiosity is not yet set in. Only in the mid teens/to late teens when the sexuality and curiosity plays havoc in a boys life, he is discovering many new things in himself, new feelings, new ideas and even new functions of his own body parts. Now Isn’t this a natural age to grow curios, also in a way age where one tends glorify sexuality in one’s own eye?.
A preteen or teenage girls are said to fantasize a lot about romance, the idea of an ideal lover, the one who will walk them to the moon, and they are ready to trade anything for it. I feel a lot of preteen/teen sexuality in girls is mainly in search of the romance, and also a thing they believe they have to do achieve what they really want. Its only later, years later they do realize the various subtleties of romance, and possible existence of a something like pure lust in their relation.
I think men in early twenties tend to have this bursts of animal extinct in them, more on the lines of bursts of erotic thoughts and then dwindle away, even fantasies too seem to be more in this age. However I think this age [number] is coming down, more and more teenagers or early twenties people exploring more of their sexualities in India now, and even abroad I think the average age has gone down a lot, and with that, the age to fantasize too.
Nowadays I ponder a lot on this thought, I wonder at some stage one will loose the curiosity in sexuality isn’t it?, at the end of the day its just a body, how much different can it be?. That makes it interesting, is it the age in me speaking when I get such thoughts?. I guess men entering late thirties and early forties take it easy, there is no longer the curiosity nor the peer pressure, and I think it may end up being more pleasurable at that age.
I think woman on the other hand discover lust at a slightly older age compared to men, even though biologically women are considered to peak much earlier than men, I think they become more adventurous when it comes to their sexuality a little later, may be I am totally wrong, but this is what I feel. May be some years down the lane, they really tend to discover themselves and their sexuality. In many cases, long after they become sexuality active. I also feel, they tend to develop a sense of urgency in them, I am not so sure as to what they are afraid of, whats going to end so soon?, why is their a sense of urgency?. Or is it that there isn’t any urgency?.
Moving onto the old age, I have absolutely no clue about this period of one’s life, and this aspect of that age, may be some of my readers can give us more information about the thought process at that age.
Its been a while I wrote something for the body or soul series, and this topic made me think a lot on the subject.
