Feminism and beyond
I have wanted to write about this topic for quite some time, no topic has taken this long to find its way into one of my blogs as much as this one. As woman’s day happened just about a week back, many of the blogs I frequent had a post about the woman’s day and feminism in general. I did leave a comment in most of them saying my thoughts are on the way and will post soon on the topic.
Some days back when I was reading an article somewhere on the internet, the author [male] had an interesting view, he said that people today do not know the difference between femininity and feminism. Actually he was right, I really did not know the difference, may be I knew the literal meaning but never thought about the implications of the two words.
Let’s start with femininity; femininity is things/thoughts/emotions feminine in nature. Now this is a tricky definition, who categorizes them as feminine?. There are few things biologically feminine in nature, I don’t need to say what I am talking about in this regard, and we all know there are things which only a female can do. Is nature being a sexist here? Personally I feel nature wanted none of the species or living thing to feel ‘all capable’ or rather to be too independent, may be nature intended us to co-exist. Anyways it’s a totally different topic altogether. Coming back to the topic of femininity, apart from the obvious biological differences, there are certain thoughts/emotions/interests which are said to be feminine in nature.
So here comes the question, should one feel ashamed to be associated with such femininity?. Should one claim inequality for being associated with thoughts known to be feminine in nature?. Traditionally emotional sensitivity, patience, shyness etc have been associated with women, the most evident proof for this is the names we have in India almost all the qualities I mentioned above has manifested into a female name in India. Now should one protest for being tagged to femininity?.
Lets talk about the opposite, things which do not come under feminine, should women really worry about those things, why are those things/thoughts/interests are not considered as feminine in nature? Should one really fight for it?.
Feminism, as per definition is philosophy of believing in equal rights for woman, and making no gender bias.
Coming back to difference, In my opinion Ability to give birth to a child is femininity, it’s a unique distinction that women should be proud about, however providing a choice of if they want to, and when and how they want to have children is feminism,
When woman choose family over carrier, if it’s a unforced decision, then it counts as femininity to me, because men are never supposed to think about family first. However having the sole power of decision to choose between family/carrier or both is feminism.
Ideasmithy brought up a good question, are all woman feminists, unfortunately I would have to say no, no I don’t think all females are feminists, nor do I think all feminists are females.
Let me tell you where some woman are not feminists, to me when someone demands extra privileges because of their gender the feminism is gone, buses have reserved seats for women, special reservations in governmental positions etc. I know its really good to provide more opportunities to women, and its been a long monopoly of men in these areas, and we want to encourage women to come forward and take these places. But I find this totally anti-feminist in nature. Why do we think that women need extra boost?, do we think women can’t find their own seats, if men misbehave in the bus she is not powerful enough to defend herself?, in governmental organization is she not capable enough to find her way in?, are we not in a way doubting her credentials?.
Another question which came up was can men be feminists?, I had to really think on this terms, somewhere I did not want to say yes and be counted as a hypocrite. Just the other day when the topic of smoking woman came up, the fact that I was a little surprised tells me that I am still a sexist in ways. If I were to be surprised at smoking I would be happier, but then it was not at smoking I was surprised it was the woman smoker who surprised me. So we men, can we ever stop distinguishing between men and women, I would say yes but still many years down the line. The traces are still present in all of us. We still think there is a difference when it comes to responsibilities and interests between men and women.
Another discussion which interested me recently is what’s wrong in huddling up. So what if women group up?. Now I partially agree with this one, its true there is nothing wrong with huddling up, any day its good to work as a team towards any goal, and its easier in a team than individual. But why would you want to huddle up in a single sex group, why not form a team of people with similar goal, rather than just chose people because they are woman.
History has been a great evidence as to how gender bias has existed for long time, and how women were considered to be the weaker sex and have been the target for long time, Finally some of us men have woken up a little, and many women have come out being more confident and powerful. A man who claims to be more powerful, intelligent or more suitable for a job because of his gender, will surely be laughed at and criticized not just by women but also fellow men, so isn’t this what so called feminists set out to do?.
From here where do we go?. One thing I would hate to see, is people making feminism as nothing but male bashing, When many woman have proved how intelligent they are, by resorting to male bashing I think somewhere we are taking a step back, because ignorant men were thought gender has nothing to do with capabilities, now the same woman seems to claim a man is bad because all men are bad, or a man is incapable because he is a man. I think somewhere the main purpose of equality in feminism is getting lost somewhere. One of the main reasons as to why, I always say rant against a person not against “men”.
One of the debates that interested me in recent times is “has a man become unnecessary in a woman’s life?”. In today’s world where woman has become financially independent, socially powerful, emotionally and physically strong, does woman need a man?. Woman has never needed a man, and man has never needed a woman, I think it’s a wrong notion. We have always needed a partner, somebody who will complete each other. Some have gone and found partners within the same sex who seem to provide what we look out in a partner, and some find that in the opposite sex. Just because we are equal gender wise, does not make us equal as a person does it?, I mean all of us will continue to have things which we lack, and try to find that support and encouragement in a person who in-turn will continue to find the same in us.
This is not a topic, where one can find comprehensive answers within a single post, these are the topics which one needs to debate and discuss over a long time, and learn along the journey.
P.S I wanted to link couple of posts from Twisted tales on life where we discussed on couple of things here, stupid me not seem to find the posts.. 
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Next one coming up.. is sexual orientation only reason to term a relationship lesbain/gay .. Guys any of you interested in the topic.. please do put up your opinions..
chennairamblings Said:
on March 16, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Oops!
I guess that means my categorisation of posts is really bad
Regarding the part of male bashing vs. feminism, you are right, male bashing is not feminism!
It is more of a venting out frustrations on a certain group of human beings like boss-bashing etc…
And when ranting against more than one, one is forced to use the plural!
chennairamblings Said:
on March 16, 2008 at 12:31 pm
And I am guessing these were the posts you were interested in:
http://bemusedthoughts.wordpress.com/2008/03/13/rant-for-the-day-4/
http://bemusedthoughts.wordpress.com/2008/03/01/disillusioned-by-empowerment/
Moving On « Twisted tales on life Said:
on March 16, 2008 at 3:45 pm
[...] and the funny part is, while some anger is because of what happened to me, most was for others. Rambler’s post today had me going through my blog with a virtual lens and yes, there is man bashing here, yet, I find [...]
Hello people « Virtual Ramblings Said:
on March 16, 2008 at 4:05 pm
[...] Feminism and beyond [...]
Shefaly Said:
on March 16, 2008 at 8:17 pm
Rambler: You will find answers to many of your questions if you trace the history of the development of feminism - the first and the second waves vary considerably and the post-feminist wave is equally interesting if somewhat over-enthusiastic and misplaced.
marja Said:
on March 17, 2008 at 12:13 am
Oh I speak for myself and I can definately not live without a man. I am not a feminist but I do think a woman should have a choice and they are very able to many things just as man. Man have the advantage though that they are often better at logical and mechanical things etc. and a lot of woman have a better emotional intelligence. Both skills are needed however.
jonbeme Said:
on March 17, 2008 at 6:31 am
YingYang…positivenegative, malefemale….to be complete, we need to embrace both and become both, one…..
I look at people as people. No better, no less. I could care less if a person is female or male. I treat them the same. Of course, I do admire looking at women but that is a different story and has nothing to do with respecting the individual as a person. I respect all people, female or male. A jerk is a jerk whether it is a he or a she. The body is but the cover of the book. One must look inside and read the book to find out the quality of the story. To me, the most important part of a person is to be found inside of them, in their heart etc… Looking at it this way, I have been able to enjoy life and all the people I meet, to its fullest.
BlueMist Said:
on March 17, 2008 at 5:29 pm
A long post. Actually it can be broken down into multiple debatable topics
So I am jotting bullets over here
1. I wonder why do you think that “Men are never supposed to think about family first ” . A woman contributes majorly to the family bonding and values ; no second thaoughts about it ; but a family can not be complete without the man too. I think though it is still a norm ; the things are changing. and hopefully our thoughts will bring that change.
2. Talking about the extra priviledge. It is unfortunate that there are still some people in this world who think the women travelling in crowd are not human but they are the piece of meat. A lady who is preganant ot carrying a child definately deserves a reseved seat. Any day I would prefer standing and travelling than arguing with men for that ladies seat. Our cities are still unsafe. Still woman are attacked. Still it is woman who is raped. Do we hear any news of men being raped ?
3. About single sex group at work place. what is wrong with that ? The kind comfort level one can share it may not be possible with opposite gender at times. Again I totally hate the concepts like “Office spouse and soul mates”. I might be orthodox over these things; but I believe every relationship needs boundries; especially at the work place.
4. About Gays i am looking forward to read your post.
P.S : I might be old fashined when it comes to these things; but that is how I am
-Rambler
sam Said:
on March 18, 2008 at 10:17 am
Honestly, this male-bashing thing is totally off the line!! Its not feminism, its more like giving vent to anger to term it as feminism is more of a slur against it!!
As for reservations for women, well hard as it might be to agree but teh fact is they need it. There are men out there who simply refuse to recognise a woman as more than just a lust object. To ensure that they do get to travel safely these norms have been around, apart from banking on social responsibility of people and the law. They all contribute a little in one or the other i suppose!!
Ragamalika Said:
on March 21, 2008 at 1:17 pm
I like to believe I am a feminist. But the concept, even for me, is still pretty complex… I like your way of differentiating femininity and feminism.. Makes sense.. Makes me think..
Nice blog! Super template!
neilina Said:
on April 3, 2008 at 8:25 am
Hey, it is a nice discussion. Being a women, I don’t like when people talk about women reservation! I don’t think women need some sort of reservation to prove their strength. I feel good like when someone in the lift waits for you to go first and in other occasions like this. But I never thought that only men should show this respect. When I show respect to someone where men actually should show, many laughs. I don’t know why they don’t understand we all are humans and should we should respect each other.
I recently joined wordpress and luckily got to see your site. I write on xanga. There is one link I found on the topic…..What women do for men and what men should do for women……….it is really nice to go through it…….
http://weblog.xanga.com/Southernlass/650229318/what-women-do-for-men-and-what-men-should-do-for-women.html
Bless You! ~Namaste~
Alankrita Said:
on April 13, 2008 at 3:14 pm
For me Feminism is the radical notion that women are human beings…
That said, any other position, specially an opposite one is ridiculous. No it is not male bashing( why are some men so insecure that any “equality position is considered anti-them). Also real men are feminists,
Alankrita.. I like your definition..its about fight for acceptance. well some men are insecure..but I do agree many a time feminism is mistaken for male bashing..
-Rambler
Just Jen Said:
on April 21, 2008 at 11:32 am
Well I can speak for the interpret in the middle of the conversation part, when talking to Hubby I always say, ‘wait until i’m done before responding’…LOL