Sexuality and Gender
I was reading an article on Times Of India some days back, it was on the raise of the number of people opting for “Friends with benefits” or what the article cheaply stated as “**** buddies”. For starters its an arrangement to get some un emotional sex, with either your friends or someone whom you term as **** buddy. Its an attempt to enjoy the act with no strings attached.
I really don’t believe in the idea, but thats not the subject of the post, the thing that stuck me most of hypocrisies within me. I really did think for a second, why would a woman want such a friend, I really did forget for a while that women too like men might have same needs. So why is that women are considered to be these sexless beings where as men on the other hand are supposedly sexual maniacs. Why do we consider women to so benign sexual feelings wise.
This gender bias is not something which is new, I was just trying to recollect any of our olden epics which depicts sexuality of women, I could hardly come across any instance, only one which came near is the episode of Shakuntala, she is described to have been very excited seeing prince Dushyanta in the forest, and the poetry does mention more about how excited her body became after seeing him.
Even in the Indian movies, women are always shown to be the more patient types, they are never the one with the sexual feelings, they are always more emotional love seekers, at the most they are shown to be naughty a little, but when it comes to bodily feelings, the heroes are the one who make advance and the women are always telling no types. I can think of only the film maker Raj Kapoor who did show his women to be a little more aggressive sexually, with him as the hero, he always portrayed women to be more informed about these things, and always women instigating the relationship.
There must be some reasons behind the cliche-s, is it because women are not more expressive?, To be honest I don’t think men express too, I mean atleast not much more in this matter, or may be my perception is wrong. I feel personally that both men and women shy way from most of it in company of others, may be in private it is a total different ball game.
From what I have known women from the blogs I read, I guess they are equally interested or uninterested like men are. I sometimes feel totally uninterested in some areas which I think is over hyped and sex is one such thing, and some times the body does take our brains. But then I am sure women too must be going through the same feelings. They must have ogled at some person who excited them, and on another day, their intellect got stimulated much more than their body.
So what do you say?, aren’t we hypocrites?, Should women be considered as sexless human beings?
A little publicity « Virtual Ramblings Said:
on November 24, 2007 at 8:27 am
[...] Sexuality and Gender [...]
paisley Said:
on November 24, 2007 at 11:56 am
i do not believe women to be sexless in any way.. i do however believe that women are more serial monogamists than casual sex partners,, in more instances than not i would suggest the woman desires a relationship with the partner,, more than that of f*ck buddy,,, where as the man might be contented with the receptacle performance of the female….
Sameera Said:
on November 24, 2007 at 5:46 pm
Looking at it in a scientific way,men have a higher sexual drive cause of increased levels of the hormone Testosterone when compared to women,unless and until there is some imbalance.Maybe this accounts for the fact that women get more emotionally attached while men are more physically inclined.In the end,”it’s all in the mind”
Lea Said:
on November 24, 2007 at 6:20 pm
I think everyone is different. Some women, crave sex as much as men, some women just don’t, some men don’t crave sex either as their needs are different. What I think happens is that a stereotype gets started and built upon, sometimes over centuries and then people are herded into specific categories and labeled. As humans, I think sometimes people want everything in neat boxes. No surprises. I was just in Amsterdam where sex workers are legal. That really stretched me to look at my own biases and prejiduces. .
fullmoononearth Said:
on November 26, 2007 at 9:06 am
Well… your observation is pretty much correct. And as put by Sameera, this is purely hormonal activity. There is a certain period/season of the year for every animal when it is highly sexually active. Not sure if this is applicable to us humans.
The (old) Indian culture/tradition/practice has been, IMO, that this is not a topic of the public forum. If even needs a discussion then it is either in the bedrooms (did we have those back then?), kitchen (only women) or some gathering place for men. It is only lately that proposing, hugging, kissing or anyother types of advances are done in public. Hindi/Indian cinema is yet to completely adapt itself to the changes. But if you’ve watched good number of English movies you’ll come to believe that sex is not such a big deal after all, for either sexes. Just another moment of physical intimacy.
SweetstickyChewy Said:
on November 30, 2007 at 5:29 am
***They must have ogled at some person who excited them, and on another day, their intellect got stimulated much more than their body.
lol..this statement juz got me thinking abt my latest post.
***Should women be considered as sexless human beings?
nah i don’t think women should be considered as sexless human beings. For some reason, i tot that would be totally unatural to even presume that they are of that type. I believe that both man & woman have sexual desires, feelings and even fantasies. I guess it also depends where you are coming.
In todays age, i think woman are getting more bold in their expression and feelings about sexual matters. As for the illustration that often man are the ones who take the first plunge. I guess it really depends on the individual and how comfortable they are with the idea of sex.
tradions or culture have thought woman to not really indulge into the area of sex. Making them to be just caterers and followers of the male sex. I guess those were ancient days which does contribute to todays society for some.
But majority are opening up. The old tradtions and beautiful meanings of a person purity and sexuality is fading as time goes by.
Just my thoughts on it.
Jon Said:
on December 2, 2007 at 4:54 pm
When I was in my 20’s, I lived in a college town. I had about 3-4 girls, who were also friends, who come to me when they wanted sex. It was a no strings attached relationship. They wanted a guy who they could have sex with when the urge hit them and I, being the wonderfull guy I am, obliged! They were tired of having sex with a guy and then having the guy think that they now “owned” the girl and they were not allowed to see any other guys. I could understand their delimna, BUT, I had a stipulation to this arrangement: our friendship came first. Yep, I told them our friendship was more important to me and as long as it didn’t interfere with it, then “lets get it on”!