Pure Pursuits

My blogger friend paisley who writes had put up this post some days back about her interview,
as per the meme she asked people if they were interested she would interview them with a set of 5 questions. Just knowing how good she writes, I was sure she would come up with awesome questions, so just left a comment saying I would be interested.

so here it goes instructions what to do next
1. Leave me a comment saying “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the
questions.
3. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the
questions. And a link to my profile or blog as your interviewer.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone
else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five
questions.

So anybody interested guys?
please leave me a comment .

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Paisley sent me a set of questions couple of days back, I couldn’t answer them right away, they needed a little bit of thinking before I answer them. So here it goes her set of questions and my attempts at answering them

1. due to the fact that we exist on two different continents,, and our cultural differences are vast,, i feel compelled to first ask you a question or two about your culture… i was first really “introduced” to you, when you asked me if i would submit a guest post to your series on body and soul….it was there i first became impressed with the extreme differences in the societal norms in India and here in the states… if you had your choice,, abounding freedom,, or cultural constraints,, which would you choose??? and why?? and no,, your parents aren’t going to read this so please be frank……

This question kind of puts the whole “body or soul” series on a point blank question, so what do I choose. I have thought long and hard on this, its been a lot of confusion and I think I would have to go with the soul. Knowing Indian culture and my conservative upbringing, this may look an easy and obvious choice, but, to be honest it was not, my view on this had drifted far away from the soul, and very much towards the body. I guess the hormones, the temptation and the natural attraction was something which I was accepting with both arms.

The series that I hosted changed my views drastically, seeing many people opting for body and many others for soul, the kind of reasons that came out, especially the kind of myths it broke about women and sensuality and their mindset made me realize there is nothing wrong about accepting the body and its needs, that made me think beyond just the body and when would my body get the maximum pleasure, and I had to deduce it has to be soul, without which body alone can never attain the level of pleasure. So I am sure it would have to be soul for me, body would just blend in.

so to answer this question in short, I chose soul, because I think without that I would never be able to satisfy the body fully.
[Again having no experience with body nor soul, the decision is purely based on things that went inside my head, it may become stronger or change later as I experience new stuff.]

2. you mentioned to me on more than one occasion,, that sex is, in your opinion, reserved for married people,, and you maintain that belief in your own life… tell me,, as a young man in your prime,, what keeps you celibate,,, really,, i mean what force from inside yourself dictates your celibacy until you are forever betrothed????

Actually I may have not put it across properly before, but its not marriage but the total commitment which is must for a bodily relationship, and In most cultures marriage is that commitment so I guess sex should be something which needs to be limited to marriage.

Seeing the rate at which the marriages are being broken, I don’t think this alone will really serve the purpose, it has to be a mixture of a good marriage, total commitment, understanding, sacrifices which is a must before you enter into something involving so much of emotional intimacy as sex. I am not leaving the physical pleasure out of it, but thats something which you may enjoy for minutes, to make it last for a long long time, you got to be enjoying every moment of the togetherness, not just those eleven minutes.

In short, what keeps me celibate, I guess my extreme confidence in my belief that you can really achieve satisfaction mentally and physically, its just that extra wait, which is totally worth.

May be lack of choice is the reason for celibacy in India in most cases, but in most cases now-a-days its definitely by choice.

3. i would assume,, although you have never stated this,, that as a young celibate male,, you are in the market for a wife,, if for no other reason that to get to have sex sometime in the near future,, tell me… what qualities do you feel you are looking for in a wife??? and are these qualities things you genuinely feel are of high importance or are they culturally stipulated???

Actually you are not right on this one, I am not in market for a wife, at least not yet. I would some day may be for for a lot of other reasons than sex.
What would I look for in a wife, as my friend calls it, my view of a my perfect women.
I think I summed that up in my post sometime back titled “she“

One thing which I wont expect out of the relationship though would be perfection, I like the relationship to be very natural, and something which will grow along the way, one of my another stupid theories that any relationship needs space to grow, not good if it starts at a very high point, it always has only one direction to go thats downwards.

I don’t think they are culturally stipulated, in fact so many ideas of mine wrt a relationship is totally against norm. probably you may have not noticed because they are not that big of a deal in the states.

4. where do you see yourself in 20 years?? do you have a built in set of goals and guidelines that you follow in your life… and if so ,, what are they???

This is a really interesting question, 20 years is too big a long time, I have this problem with expectations, that may be too much evident in the personal posts I write, so actually working hard to get rid of it. So I would like to keep this simple and not expect many things.
May be a decent family, with whom I can share and pass down the immensely treasured values which I got from my parents and society,
A decent job, which pays for a good life of us.
Developing at least one very good and passionate hobby that lasts the life time.
Keeping in touch with some extremely important people in life, and may be the same level of closeness and support to each other.
Guidelines, may be form them as I go along, and hopefully not hurt people around.

5. when you first became active in the cyber world,, i would imagine a whole new world opened up to you,, as you were exposed to many people,, much like myself,, that have openly engaged in and feel free sharing things that are far deviant from the ideals with which you have been raised… do you think it heightened your curiosities??? or were your beliefs strengthened when you looked on candidly at our more open attitudes toward, love, sex, drugs, passion etc?????

They didn’t heighten my curiosities, instead they broke my myths, and gave me a lot of knowledge and new perspective, increased my tolerance levels. And I loved all of it.
I have always loved discussions and arguments, and my belief that there is no right or wrong, and everything is right in its own view, makes it easier to accept new things.
To tell you the truth I haven’t come across any of those topics wide in the open, may be a blog here or there, may be someone could help me with the links here.
Some how I have been more curious about people than anything else.

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