Pure Pursuits

Throwingroses, as we know him writes at My life as a conscious observer. I am not sure how I came across his blog, or was it him who left a first comment, I guess it does not really matter. From what I have known him through his blogs, he is one deep thinker. Now isn’t that something great and rare, he writes less compared to blog crazy people like me, but all his posts are really well thought, precise and insightful. He has introduced me to some of very good music on his site, and his experiences in his cafe are really interesting.
He writes at

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Much like a dog so is our body. The dog breathes whimpers and cries into the air out of a desperation. All the noise and even the possible tugging of pant legs are to let the master know what it needs. The dog may need to be walked or even just a little hand to head petting, but the master chooses to ignore.

Much like the master to the dog so are we. A message of needs is being communicated but we ignore or we simply misinterpret. We walk the dog when what was actually desired was merely food.

But the master has its own master; it may be culture or possibly religious dogma. But the master’s master may be that cause of the confusion on understanding the cries.

Our body cries out with needs (and desires), but often times it gets ignored. The body may cry out for a needed healing as it’s antibodies are weak in a battle against a foreign virus, but the master of the master may say the aid of medicine is sinful and so are the cries from the body. In this instance the body’s needs are unanswered.

The body is always crying out, we have to learn what each breath, what each whimper and tug on the pants means because the body may be more important than the master of the master.

Its the time to post the first entry on “body or soul” series, well I did post one yesterday, today I begin to post what others think on this subject. Before I get to the post, a little information about the author. I have started a new blog called Pure Pursuits which will have all posts of this series. You can post comments on the post, and I would request the original author to answer the comments.

I came to know about Paisley from the poetry blogsite, where I began to tag recently. I came across her blog and was actually dumb founded, the great thing which stands out in her posts is her honesty, not many have the knack to express whatever the mind thinks in a way that gives exactly what information it needs to, and still makes the reader think for days together. I hardly comment on her blog, mainly because it leaves me thinking for many days even after I read them, only after that much time I can form an opinion.. She has an unique perspective to life, rather an unconventional one and its evident in her posts.

After reading many of her posts, I chose to write a comment requesting her to participate in this series, and she not only agreed to post, but has been extremely helpful in coming up with this series.

She writes at following pages.
why Paisley
Just Paisley
The ink pot.
Fragmented Paisley
secret…secret…i’ve got a secret…. .

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The first human instinct, the only primal instinct that i can identify… is self gratification….

we are born knowing nothing other than comfort and discomfort… in order to turn discomfort into comfort,, we cry,, signifying our displeasure…prompting our caretaker to fill the need by probing thru the small array of needs we may have in infancy… food, warmth, dryness, physical comfort or closeness……..this is the means we have of getting what we want for ourselves,, even though we are unable physically to fulfill the desire….

as we progress thru our young life,,, we gain skills that allow us to obtain those basic needs independently. we are no longer dependent on an other human to hold the bottle or change our diaper or give us a bath… we can become quite proficient at doing whatever has to be done to provide ourselves with what we need…. we crawl.. then we walk then we speak .. we are learning even at that young age how to get what we want for ourselves.. for many early childhood is where they learn the usefulness of lies and deception, begging and intimidation… all in the pursuit of what they want…

and then somewhere around this point in which puberty sets in.. later surely for others… but we become aware that not only do we have need for the things we used to deem all encompassing… but we have feelings.. something growing inside of you.. making things that never really held all of that much appeal… somehow… become very inviting….as it happens.. what we need has been accentuated by such things as wants and desires, urges, raging hormones and blooming sexuality…

where once we were just becoming proficient at getting what we wanted by ourselves,, for ourselves,, suddenly there comes a facet of life for which we really were not prepared…as certainly we had no real clue that it was to overtake us with the driving force it did…

it is at this precise moment, in the maturation of a human body,, that society, religion, culture, family and the like choose to shut down on you and advise you the only right thing to do is to ignore those inborn, human instincts, and from this moment in your life,, desiring self gratification,, becomes tainted,, evil,, something you should not pursue.. we are taught it is improper to have those urges, to deny that you are having those feelings,, to squelch the natural progression toward sexuality…

this is also the very time,, where the inklings of lying, deception, begging, intimidation, often become something greater.. something more studiously arraigned, more controlling, even more violent… i believe that this is in direct correlation with the addiction that humans have to repress the body’s natural progression.. forcing the repression of the desires of the body,, is a great stumbling block,, and in its own way has become a real drain on society as a whole….

i believe that it is here, at this juncture,, that the interplay between the mind and the body and the spirit is to become an active part of everything that you are to become….

it is my belief that it is here,, that our civilized society fails us….

now.. my insights on this are merely that… my insights. hindsight’s even in some cases.. and they are to be taken as that… and nothing more…

i believe in following the natural progression of life….seeking out which gives you the greatest joy,, “following your heart”,, and if need be doing anything within your power to attain it.. when you are young. and strong and vibrant.. for some of us this is education,, for some of us this is music,, for some of us it is earning money,, but for all of us… the most important thing in your young world will be … someone to love….

do not confuse this with someone to marry.. as that is not what i am talking about… i am talking about someone to love you,, and hold you,, and kiss you,, and talk to you,, and make love to you,, and explore sexuality with you,, someone whose hand you can hold as you venture into this whole evolution that is growing up…

i believe that who ever or whatever it is that has instructed man and woman kind to withhold the pleasures of the body while they are young and they are full of desire and passion and raging hormones ….. was a fool….

i am sorry .. but this is my absolute belief…

i became sexually active at a young age,, but at the time,, it was a dirty thing.. to be hidden,, to be lied about,, to be covered over, at all expense… there were many pregnancies,, unnecessarily,, as the parents in that day and age had made it a dirty thing,, something only sluts and bad boys engaged in… they had exerted their parental form of control over their offspring… and surely their beloved son or daughter would never be one of “those”…. and of course to supply their child with birth control and the intelligence to actually put it into play,, was like giving them a license to have sex…..

i believe that if young adults,, of sufficient age,, who desire sex with members of their own peer group were encouraged to explore their sexuality.. to continue on the most natural road to self gratification,, to become familiar with their own needs,, desires,, likes,, dislikes,, in the area of sex… if they were provided with the right information and accoutrements to perform safe sex.. with dignity,, and respect and love and intervention when asked for,, by loving caring family who was open and understanding and there to guide them thru this difficult transition into manhood,, womanhood what have you…

yes i believe that we would see a vast difference in the sexual climate of the society that adopted those beliefs… if sex wasn’t bad or dirty or repressed.. what would it be instead???

if it wasn’t held back and guarded and used as a threat would there be need to take it violently,, to use it as a form of punishment or control???

if people were able to choose marriage partners that suited them sexually… and they were genuinely attracted to.. and if they had the acceptance and the freedom to experience multiple sexual partners, live in relationships,, trial periods of life together before they were forced to marry.. till death do us part…. how many marriages would be saved… how many more people would grow into old age in happiness and fulfillment,, instead of in spite of all the years they spent in a loveless marriage???

how many couples would co exist in peace and harmony,, if they did not hold the others sexual being against them??? if fidelity was not a two edged sword .. if we were free to give and receive love, without fear of retribution???

i believe with all my heart that the time to explore and find ones sexuality,, is when you are young.. to follow the course that nature has set before you.. to allow your body to coexist in peace and harmony with your mind and heart…

and later.. when your sense of direction turns more to settling down.. when the annuls of time have their way with you and you decide you want more security,, a home,, a family,, one partner,, then do so … because that is what your body your mind and your soul is telling you to do…

not because traditions have it,, not because the bible says so.. not because your parents cannot bare the fact that you are becoming a mature sexual human being,, thus signifying their ascent into the middle ages… not because of anything… I believe we should accept that very first very primal instinct,, the one that in fact you came to this earth with,, the one that has lead you to this point,, the only voice you have ever seen fit to follow… self gratification…. should in fact be the voice that speaks the loudest,, and the only voice you hear…

that is what i believe…..

Guys If you remember some days back I had a request posted here, for people to send me email addresses for a series I was planning. I am so excited and happy to receive the kind of response I actually did. Thanks for all the interest shown and time you guys spared for this one.

Also I would like to apologize for making such a weird request, some of you did not like it, I do understand the concern in sharing the email address, I just want to say sorry yet again.

For the rest of you, if you want to participate, you are welcome, please send me your post, at rambler1981@gmail.com

Coming back to the project, Today I would be kick starting the series with a post by me, which will start the ball rolling, I would be posting a one new post everyday in this series all over next week. You guys can leave comment, I would request the author to reply to your comments.
I am all excited, Here we go!

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There are few inhibitions which take a lot to overcome, and this is one such. I have really thought long and hard if I should be posting this, and finally decided to go ahead. This thought had been on mind for quite some time now, and was in a dilemma whether to post or not. This post is mature in content, at least to me, so others like me, who find it discomforting to read, please do not read further.

Two of the most important aids of our existence and our future is our body, and the other, soul. Each of them really important, and each interdependent. Along with us, they both age, and they both develop, they both have needs, and they both dictate our behavior, our conduct and more importantly the pursuit.

How much importance should we give to our body, and how much to our soul. People are comparatively more vocal when it comes to soul, take me for example my blog is almost 200+ posts old, and I have hardly written anything about the significant half of my existence. Nor seen many people write about it. From ages, body and its needs are considered to be a weakness, and trying to satisfy it, the biggest failure. How true is this?, does a normal person like me really capable of running away from the “body”?, I doubt. Not talking about it, kind of worsens the problem, I mean lesser mortals like me who are confused to pursue the body or the soul or both, are left to continue in the state of confusion.

Growing up, the society has made me believe, its a total taboo, to even consider thinking about body. The gender bias that exists has also added to wrong ideas [which I am discovering off late, that it is wrong]. I was almost made to believe women are asexual beings, and men on the other had are sexual maniacs, I mean men are supposedly big thinkers of sex, and women on the other hand, more into soul aspect of the relation. Sometimes I am shameful of my ignorance, and this happens to be on the top of my list. Sometimes you happen to see something which is so obvious, and makes you looks ridiculous for having thought otherwise, this happens to be one such.

So, is it really wrong to think about your physical needs?, Is it something which is supposed to be fought against?, does victory against these needs signify a great soul? a greater will?, or in plain words is it necessary to not think about it. I have no strong opinion on this. Sometimes I feel its just natural and one needs to go through it as any other thing in life, I feel its not wrong at all to think about such pleasures which are as natural to human beings as breathing or eating. And there is nothing wrong about enjoying such pleasures. On the other hand I feel, just like defeating hunger is a challenge that needs to be taken up, defeating body needs are also things which should be controlled, somewhere I think my idealisms on this front are all goofed up.

Its really strange all these debate over something which is very short lived. What all people do for eleven minutes of pleasure. Somewhere there is something which I missing I think. The missing link was the soul that gets attached to your body.

When it comes to physical needs, its never alone, there is always your emotion which in turn attaches soul to the act. There comes the big debate, should one bring emotions/soul to the table when it comes to the pleasure. Wish I could know more on this. I somehow feel the talk about separating pleasure from emotions is not true. I don’t think anyone can ever achieve this. I have a feeling that even people who trade their bodies, too cannot achieve this. I might be totally wrong in this feeling though.

I cant get myself to believe people can distance emotions when it comes to the “act”. Leave alone women, men too cannot distance much from emotions. By emotions I am not just limiting to love/romance, jealousy, possessiveness, privacy, protectiveness and so on, you name it people will attach this to the body. Some people are also of the extreme opinion that to enjoy something physical, there should be no emotions attached, Even before I get to think if this is true, possibility of doing such a thing, is somewhat iffy to me.

The greatly talented Greek philosopher Plato once said, “At the beginning of creation, men and women were not as they are now; there was just one being. The Greek gods, however ,were jealous, because this creature with four arms could work harder, Zeus the supreme lord of Olympus, cut the creature in two with a lightning bolt,thus creating man and woman. This disoriented and weakened earth’s inhabitants, because now they had to search for their lost half and embrace it and, in that embrace regain their former strength, their ability to avoid betrayal and the stamina to walk for long periods of time and to withstand hard work, The embrace in which the two re-fuse is referred to as the making love.“

So do you think it is wrong to think about the body?, is it possible to separate emotions from the self? does men and women look at this differently? is it something which should not be talked about?